


i’m a match, she’s kerosene

by duchessofravenspur



Category: Original Work
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-09-20 21:58:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17030745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duchessofravenspur/pseuds/duchessofravenspur
Summary: the many lives of Aulivia.





	1. run for your life with me

**Author's Note:**

> cult AU —

There was a ribbon in Livia’s hair. Midnight blue and silky-looking, it stood out in contrast to her exposed mahogany tresses. As usual, the Shepherd's daughter was the last to arrive. Since she still had possession of her lavish contraband, Gus could only assume she hadn’t crossed paths with anyone on her route. It was still early; they would rip it from her head before the first bell was rung. Gritting his teeth, he ducked behind the gathered members of their Flock and moved quickly to intercept her in the atrium.

“Have you lost your mind?” Gus hissed. “You really want to take ten lashes for a fucking ribbon?”

Livia stared back at him, gaze steady and sparking. “Good morning, Augustus. Blessed is the Light.”

“Cut the shit,” he snarled, shaking her. “Take it out now. Before I cut it out myself.”

She shoved him away with beguiling strength and stepped around him. He caught her elbow, swinging them both into a darkened corner of the courtyard.

“Liv! This is ridiculous. It won’t change anything.” He loosened his hold to rub his thumb against her pulse. “No matter what sin you flaunt before him, your father will still force you to marry Daniel.”

Gus was shocked he hadn’t been pushed away again, or even decked in the face for that matter. He stared into her cloudy eyes, silently begging her to stand down. This was not a fight she could win with a strip of shiny cloth. Judging from the calculating look on Livia’s face, she was already well aware of that fact.

“Where did you even get it?” he wondered, hoping to quell the approaching storm.

The corner of her lush mouth twitched. “I wove it myself, of course.”

“Your prayer cloth.” He realized with dawning horror that she had brought nothing to cover her head for mass. She truly had meant to walk into the chamber and be seen uncovered, with a bow on top. “Dear God, Livvy, they’ll put you out in the field for a month.”

“Exactly,” she said, her jaw a hard line of defiance.

Predicting his intention to shake her once more, Liv jabbed him hard in the ribs and pirouetted out of his grasp. She was quick on her feet, what with all that illicit dancing in the woods she did. But Gus was just as quick; he spent nearly as much time running about the forest as she did. He managed to grab a handful of her linen dress and drag her behind the entry door of the chamber before she could make her unholy entrance.

“Livia! Please!” Gus begged, trying to keep from getting scratched as she struggled against his grasp.

“Let me go!” she demanded. “You have no right to command me.”

The fight drained out of him at her words. She was right, of course. How did this make him any different from her father or Daniel? Telling her what she could do, what she should wear. It was her risk to take, not his.

“Please,” he murmured against her hair, eyes closing. “Please, Livia, I can’t bear to see you whipped again. I’ll do anything, just please—“

“Shut up,” she spat between her teeth. “How dare—“ Her voice broke and she jerked back. Gus let his arms fall to his sides. For a moment they stood in tense silence. The voices of their Flock carried out to them, a drone of anxious noise. When Livia turned to him, her eyes were aflame.

“I won’t marry him,” she declared with absolute resolve.

Gus didn’t know how she would do it, how he would inevitably get involved and make it worse, or where they would end up when it was all over, but he knew in his bones that what she said was the truth. She would not marry Daniel, and they would both have Hell to pay for it.

“Put this on,” he grumbled, draping his prayer scarf over her shoulders. “I’ll take the lash for being late. Don’t argue with me.”

For once, she didn’t.


	2. they got a plan for us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> cult AU part II

“This is your own fault.”

Shamefully, Gus startled at the sound of his brother’s voice. He had been so focused on the fire radiating from his back, he hadn’t even realized the barn door had been open and shut. He was laid out on his front in a pile of damp hay, the tatters of his shirt sticking in his wounds. Blinking dried-out eyes, he turned his head up to squint at Daniel.

“Actually, it was Livia’s idea,” he mumbled. “She wanted to see the musicians play.”

Daniel made a face like he’d swallowed something foul. “Of course you would blame an impressionable girl for your own shortcomings.”

Gus sighed, allowing his body to sink further into his makeshift recovery bed. It hadn’t been his intention to throw Liv under the bus. There was no point: they had both received ten lashes for their foray into reality. But Gus could never convince Daniel that she would have gone with or without him. Even threatening to lasso her and drag her back by her ankles hadn’t worked.

Who was he kidding? That hadn’t worked since she was 6.

“I can’t believe you allowed this to happen,” Daniel said, pacing the length of the horse stall Gus was hiding in. “My own brother venturing to the outside with my bride—on the eve of our wedding! You have never been so lost, Augustus. Olivia’s reputation may never recover from your sin.”

He laughed, painful but worth the look of appalled shock on Daniel’s face. “My sin? I assure you, Livia pays absolutely no mind to my transgressions. She’s far too busy plotting her own.”

Silly Daniel. Gus could almost feel sorry for him. He was destined to be miserable as long as he continued refusing to see Liv for exactly what she is: wild and ever-growing, the only true proof of God’s love among them. If Daniel truly loved her as he said, he would see her for her glory, sins and all.

“You have defiled her soul for the last time,” Daniel was declaring quite dramatically. “Once she is my wife, you will no longer be allowed in my home.”

The words felt like ice water being thrown in his face. Gus struggled to sit up and glare properly at his brother. “So you would lock her away, like a trophy in a case. That pride will be your downfall, Danny.”

“Pride?” he thundered. “It is shame that compels me to keep you apart! Have you lain with her?”

The abrupt question astonished him so, he answered with absolute honesty: “Of course not. I would never put her in such a position. Not when the lot of you would rather see her burned than see her free.”

“So you’ve thought of it.”

“Every fucking day.”

Daniel stormed from the barn without another word. He was likely seeing to it that Gus be punished for his abhorrent admission as soon as possible. Perhaps they would finally put him down. You didn’t leave the Flock, the Flock left you. And leaving wasn’t an option regardless, not so long as Livia was locked away in the Shepherd’s attic. 

So, that really only left them one option.

Climbing onto a roof appeared much easier from the ground below. For one, Gus hadn’t been so aware of the very long distance he could fall. Now, however, his hands were shaking with awareness. They were so fucked if anyone caught him outside the Shepherd’s house, let alone trying to break into said house. That was the only thing that kept him from climbing back down and trying another plan. There was no other plan. As soon as Livia could put on her wedding dress without bleeding through it, they would marry her off and sequester her away in another tower. No, he only had this one chance.

There were no windows to the attic, merely a round, narrow vent under the eaves of the house. The slots were thin plywood and would give easily enough, but that wouldn’t be necessary.

“Liv!” he whispered with his mouth pressed against the vent. “Liv! Wake up!”

“It’s barely 8, Gus, no one is asleep,” her voice rang clearly from the other side.

“Jesus! Don’t scare me like that.”

“Me?!” She pressed her face closer. He could see her raised brow and one red-rimmed eye. “You—“

“Anyway! I need to speak to you.”

There was a thunk on the other side, like she had smacked the wall. “Obviously! Why else would you do something so idiotic? My father will have you skinned—“

“Yes, yes, very scary. But you have to listen to me, Liv. Something extraordinary has happened. I’ve had a vision.”

The bridge of her nose scrunched. “Huh?”

He smiled at her confusion. “Indeed, a holy spirit has shown itself! God has come to me, Livvy. He has told me in all His majestic majesty that we are to be His vessels.”

“Augustus…” A warning.

“See, there’s a prophecy. A prophecy of a Golden Son—“

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Gus! I know the damn story. A true leader will rise and bring the Fields of God to Earth. Everyone knows that. Hell, half the Flock is already convinced Daniel is The Son.”

Gus grinned wickedly. “Exactly. Wouldn’t it just crush them if they found out he isn’t?”

Silence.

Then, “You’re insane.”

“I also have a plan.” He paused, unsure of himself for the first time in 10 minutes. “Answer me this, Liv: if we ran, where would we go?”

He could sense her hesitation and how much she resented it. “I don’t know, Gus. But that doesn’t—“

“No, it doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t leave.”

“Stop interrupting me!”

“But is that really the easiest way out?” he pressed on. “We can’t just walk away and hope everything will work out. We need to be sure they can’t drag us back.”

“They won’t,” she replied in a hard voice. “I’ll die before I let that happen.”

“And I’ll die before I let that happen. So we’ve come full circle.”

Liv was quiet for a moment. The cacophony of crickets and distant chanting filled the air. Gus didn’t look away from her ear.

“How?” she asked. “How do we convince them the prophecy is unfolding?”

“Oh, that part’s easy. It’ll be like leading sheep to slaughter.”

“Gus!”

“I only mean figuratively. Geez. Not everyone here deserves to drop dead for their involvement. I know this. But I also know we don’t have the power to destroy them ourselves. Only they have the power to destroy each other. Perhaps all they need is a little...nudge.”

Hazy moonlight caught her eyes and made them glow with an intensity Gus had never witnessed.

“They’ll eat each other alive if they lose their faith,” she succinctly concluded.

Gus nodded. “If something can be destroyed by the truth—“

“Then it deserves to be destroyed. When do we start?”

“Tomorrow. Wear your ribbon.”


	3. she got the current in her hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clash of the titans AU

The night was black and moonless. There was nothing but flat, dead land sprawling for miles in every direction. The air was frigid, fog covering what little ground could be made out. Gus had never felt so alone, nor so compelled to be anywhere else. It was exactly the kind of wasteland where a disgraced goddess would set up shop.

Though there was nothing to see, he could feel Livia’s magic like static shocks under his skin. The further he travelled, the more painful the sting became. Her aversion spell was powerful, but his will was stronger.

He knew when he had come to the center of her harrowing oasis. The shocks made his body convulse and he lost control of his limbs entirely. Panting, Gus collapsed at the bank of a glass-smooth lake, the only sign of deference he would allow. Now he would either be killed or be maimed. It was up to the Goddess to decide.

The pain ended abruptly. He gasped for air as he struggled to his knees, eyes frantically searching the fog for her.

“I told you to stay away,” Livia’s disembodied voice boomed out a moment before she saw fit to show herself. “In fact, I made you sign a contract in blood over it. Or don’t you remember?”

Gus grinned at the sight of her. She was ethereal, walking perfection with not one hair on her head changed in a millennia, radiating cosmic energy that drove him to addiction again and again.

“I have crossed oceans of time to find you.”

She snorted, unamused. “Dracula? How trite.”

“You said it had potential.”

“I once said the same of you, Augustus.”

He bowed his head before meeting her gaze once more. “And you shall say it again, my love. I have news. Wonderful, dreadful news.”

Perhaps she had been in this isolated hellscape for too long or perhaps his words really had piqued her interest; either way, Gus could see that she would hear him. She would likely still kick his ass to another plane of existence, but at least he would have his word first.

“Are you waiting for a written invitation?” Her feigned boredom made his chest flutter.

Gus beamed back at his goddess. “The tides have changed, blessed.”

Livia rolled her eyes at him. “Knock it off with your ridiculous riddles, trickster. Speak!”

“Poseidon is dead. Executed by Zeus’ hand.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

Feeling positively giddy, he watched as Livia’s face went on a journey from jaw-dropped horror to guarded calculation and finally settling on outright glee.

“Dead! He’s dead!” She clapped her hands and did a little dance that made Gus dizzy with love for her. “That rotting sycophant finally got his due! Hah!”

Gus allowed himself to feel a little soreness at her delight. He should have been the one to give her this. He should have passed her the sword and let her end Poseidon herself. But Zeus had beat him to it. And now—

“Fuck! We are so fucked!”

“Yup,” Gus agreed with a pop. “That’s the dreadful part. You see, Zeus—“

“Is already on your ass and now you’ve lead him straight to me! You fucking half-breed bastard!”

“Hey! I achieved godhood nearly a thousand years ago,” he said, probably for the thousandth time. “Show some respect.”

An invisible force suddenly and very painfully squeezed the air from his lungs, forcing his mortal-born body to struggle for breath. It wouldn’t kill him to be deprived of oxygen, but he would suffer greatly—as she intended.

“P-Please,” he tried to gasp out.

“Show some respect,” she commanded with jovial disdain. Her magic loosed him after another moment and he collapsed to the ground at her feet. Weak and feeling more alive than he had in centuries, Gus turned his head and kissed the side of her foot. He smiled when she wiggled her toes. Then she reached down and grabbed him by the scruff, lifting him to face her just as she had that day in the Underworld, before he had captured Cerberus. Those were much simpler times.

“What am to do with you, husband?” Her fathomless eyes would have made the Fates seethe with jealousy.

“You could tell me you missed me,” he muttered half-heartedly.

As predicted, she laughed in his face. “Miss you? I don’t so much as think of you.”

“Liar. I’m all you think of.”

“Not even once.”

“You’re up all night pining for me.”

“What was your name again?”

“You’re impossible. I’ll have you know I came here to warn you,” he told her, attempting to be serious.

Livia scoffed. “Please. I’m well aware Zeus wants to see us both ripped to shreds, but I’m also aware that he would gladly be willing to discuss a trade.”

Gus’ blood ran cold. “You wouldn’t.”

Of course she wouldn’t. “Try me,” she replied instead.

“Liv! I mean it, I wouldn’t have come to you if there was any other option. But Octavia—“

Her hold on his neck tightened to the brink of agony. “Where is my daughter, Gus?”

“The Underworld! Exactly where we left her. She’s safe with Hades.” The vice loosened—barely.

“How do you know?”

Now that really hurt. After all this time, she still only trusted him as far as she could throw him. Which was pretty far, but clearly not far enough.

“Because Hades is the one who told me! He knew of Zeus’ plan.”

Her grip increased once more. “And you left her with him?! He’s plotting with Zeus!”

“What choice did I have, Olivia? She can’t leave the Underworld!”

She knew that. More than anything, she knew well how far out of reach Octavia was to her. Yet… “You should have tried! I can’t believe you left my child with that traitorous asshole. Again!”

“Me?! We decided—“

“You decided! You’re the one who went behind my back and signed away our daughter’s freedom.”

“Liv. It was the only way. Zeus would have ravaged her, he would have done anything to get back at us for having her.”

“I know!” she screamed, tossing him to the ground. He landed on his shoulder, rolling with the momentum. Then he bunkered down for the maiming.

There was only silence.

When he dared to lift his head, she was staring out over her black, unmoving lake. The source of her immense power. It was larger than ever, stretching far beyond he could see. She had been here so long, so far removed from any need to utilize this tremendous gift.

“Impressive reserve,” he said, watching the way her dress rippled around her perfect legs, despite the lack of wind.

She sounded tired when she finally spoke. “You’re late, Gus. I may not have known how he would go about it, but I always knew my father would turn on us. Every last one of us.” She turned to look him in the eye. “Aphrodite came to me.”

Gus could have screamed. He threw up his hands in defeat. “Of fucking course she did. That fucking—“

“If you call her a whore, I’ll gut you.”

“Narcissistic, conniving dunce!”

“I’ll allow it.”

“If she came to you, Liv, it was only to have her own ass!”

Livia threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, that’s rich! Why are you here again, Gus Gus?”

His mouth opened then closed with a snap. It only made her laugh harder. Gus scrambled to his feet, trying to gain back some dignity.

“Believe what you will, goddess,” he grumbled. “I didn’t lie.”

“You also didn’t really answer the question,” she countered. “Why. Are. You. Here.”

Gus shrugged. “Because I love you. Because I knew I was going to die without seeing your face one last time and I couldn’t stand the thought of it, blood oath be damned.”

Her silence was a slow, deep cut in his chest.

“Liv.”

“I believe you.”

He waited. And waited…

Livia’s face was smooth as carved marble when she turned to him.

“We’re going to get Octavia. Fuck Hades and his worthless contracts. Zeus will have his war and he’ll come after us if he doesn’t remember her first. We have to take her somewhere. She’s ours to protect.”

He looked away. “You still hate me for taking that from you.”

“Yes.” Another, deeper cut.

“I’m sorry.”

“I know. It doesn’t change anything,” she informed him coldly, turning away. In a shocking display of agitation, she began to pace and wring her hands before seeming to realize what she was doing and coming to a stop. “We’ll go to the Meadows.”

Gus frowned, confused. “But Hades—”

“Obviously we’ll kill Hades.” You fucking idiot.

He could only gape back at her. “You’re mad!”

Livia’s eyes were blazing as she rounded him. “And just what else are we supposed to do, Gus? Wait for Zeus to turn on him? Then he’ll have Tavi too!”

“We’ve tried it before…”

“When I was weak.” She gestured to the black deepness of her magic. “Now I’m not.”

Fuck. She was making too much sense to argue against. Truth was, Gus hadn’t really thought beyond this meeting. As soon as Hades informed him of Poseidon’s murder, he had raced against the cosmos itself to locate his wife. He hadn’t so much as checked in with Tavi, though Hades was unlikely to have let him see her outside the bounds of their contract anyway. Maybe he should have tried anyway, as Liv said. Gazing up into his goddess’ beautiful face, he couldn’t be sorry that he hadn’t wasted a moment to find her.

“I’ll do whatever you tell me to,” Gus said quietly.

Livia nodded. “Good. Go kill a god.”

“Yes, my love.”


	4. used to stand right here beside me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> political AU —

Livia the Livid: this pastry sucks !  
Livia the Livid: c ime get me :(

“Pastry? Since when do you eat carbs?”

Gus squinted at his phone as he read the messages over and over again, thinking that it must be some secret code. Sitting alone in a halo of artificial light, he frantically scrolled up and down, up and back down again. Livia hadn’t spoken to him in months, not since the day her engagement to the Attorney General’s son was announced in the paper. Her second to last text was a simple but oft-used “stfu” in reply to a screenshot of a gossip site with the headline “Livia in Love?” It was accompanied by a picture of the goddess herself, walking arm in arm with her bootlicking beau. 

Gus hadn’t believed it for a moment, of course. Livia would be using him for...something. Sure, he had little power compared to his father—much like Augustus himself ironically—but she would find some way to use that to her benefit. Maybe he owned stashes in Panama...? No, Liv didn’t give a shit about money. She had stashes of her own all over the world. Perhaps he had mafia connections? Gus ignored the stab of envy that pierced his chest. He would give anything to have been born the son of a mob boss rather than a senator. Livia would say there isn’t any difference. She would be right, as always. He supposed it didn’t matter either way. He would still be bound to other people’s expectations.

Which is why none if this was adding up for Gus. He constantly felt the weight of his family’s influence, and he was a man. People told him to stop slouching and stop drinking and stop making that face at the camera. It was nothing compared to the mold Livia had to wedge herself into on a daily basis. People told her she was fat even when she needed to gain a good ten pounds and called her rude if she didn’t simper to their standards and couldn’t she ever smile without looking like it pained her? Yes, she could—and no, they didn’t deserve to see it. Livia’s joy was a gift that she bestowed upon only the worthy. So how could some bureaucratic tyrant’s no-name son possibly be worthy when he, Augustus LeSauvage, was sitting right here?!

With the wedding just a week away, it certainly seemed she was cutting it close to the quick. Gus knew better than anyone how well Liv could play the long game; her stamina in out-besting everyone around her was breathtaking. Yet he still felt his heart crack open and break into a terrified sprint every time he thought of it. The Plaza, roped off and decked out to the nines. The howling of fake laughter in the ballroom. The paparazzi cameras like a lightning storm, flashing and inevitable. Livia would wear a tasteful, gorgeous white gown because that’s exactly what her evil step-mother would make her wear. Her groom would wear the most expensive custom designer tux money could buy. There would be roses, so many fucking roses the smell would make their guests gag. It was the same fantasy Gus had had for years, only now there was a different groom standing at the end of the aisle. A childish wish turned into his worst nightmare. Typical.

Gus jolted when his phone vibrated again.

Livia the Livid: WHERE R U DUCKER

He started typing before she could reach through the line and strangle him.

GusGus: I believe you’ve sent this to the wrong person, dear Livvy.

Livia the Livid: dO NOT call me that >:(

GusGus: Dear? Or Livvy?

Livia the Livid: neider im not your deer

GusGus: Have you been drinking, deer?

Livia the Livid: where r h??? party blows. talk me home

GusGus: That’s a yes then. Where are you? Turn your location on.

Livia the Livid: no!! stalker!!!!

GusGus: Seriously? I need an address if you want me to come get you, loser.

Livia the Livid: YOURE the loser loser

GusGus: Oh for fuck’s sake. You expect me to drive all the way to Brooklyn? At night?!

Livia the Livid: looiooiiooooser

GusGus: Stay right where you are, Drunky.

Livia the Livid: dont tell me wat to do >:(

⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ ⋇ 

When the clock finally declared it was 7AM, Gus flipped the switch on his Ninja Bullet and waited. He grinned like a goon when just a moment later there was the respondent thunk of something being thrown against the opposite wall.

“Smoothie time!” he yelled over the noise.

His surprise guest emerged from the bedroom with wild hair and a face full of fury, stomping towards him ominously. He switched off the blender and held out the resulting concoction, attempting to placate the hungover banshee in his home.

“Just kidding. It’s mostly tomatoes. And some vodka. Okay, it’s a Bloody Mary, but—“

Livia snatched it from his hand, throwing her head back to guzzle it down. When she was finished, she wiped her mouth with the back of her wrist and handed the empty blender back with force.

“Now make me something with rum,” she ordered, stalking back into his room and slamming the door behind her.

Gus, happy as a pig in shit, immediately got to work. After getting lost and turned around more times than he cared to admit, he had finally found the weird, ritzy bar Liv and her scary girlfriends were holed up in. None of them seemed to think it strange that he was the one who showed up to gently corral a drowsy Livia into the backseat of his ridiculous convertible. They had handed him her purse and made him promise she would call in the morning. He numbly agreed and drove back to his condo in Manhattan with the dare of a smile on his face.

Now, in the light of day, it all seemed even more promising. Finally, Liv would explain everything. She would tell him exactly what she was wringing out of that doughy military brat and how she planned to ditch him at the last second to runaway into the sunset with Gus. They would laugh and laugh at her stupid fiancé’s expense. They would—

“Thanks,” he heard from behind him. Livia was perched on the kitchen island, delicately sipping at her Pink Flamingo and watching him with clear suspicion in her eyes.

“You texted me,” he decided to reminder her before she could hurl any accusations.

“I know,” she grumbled with a pinched brow. “You should have ignored me.”

Gus blinked. “What? You said. You wanted me to pick you up.”

“Drunk me wanted you to pick me up, Augustus.”

This time he flinched. “Okay, fair enough. But I’m still the one you were accosting in the middle of the night instead of—oh, whatever the fuck his name is!”

“James,” Liv said tartly. “It’s James Montgomery and you know it.”

Gus scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. “I most certainly do not.”

“He was in your class at Collegiate,” she reminded him with mock cheer. “Also on the same lacrosse team and in the same dorm...”

“Alright, alright! So I vaguely recall who he is. As if it matters. When are you calling off this ridiculous farce?”

“Farce?” she repeated, eyes wide. “Is that what you’ve been telling yourself? I’m wearing his ring, Gus.” He looked away when she flashed her hand at him. “We’re going to be on the cover of People. The city has already spent a fortune on security. It’s grossly unethical. You really think I’d let some little game go this far?”

He gesticulated wildly. “Then why the fuck—“

“I’m going to be the president in six years. This country is going to elect a woman whether they like it or not,” she declared, lifting herself off the counter to approach him. “But Jesus Christ, Gus, even I’m not stupid enough to think a single woman in her 30’s will get the nomination, let alone the vote.”

Gus stared at her in horror. “Are you...fucking serious? This is all just—politics?!”

She lifted her chin and stared right back. “Oh, of course. It’s all just fucking politics. Isn’t that how you see it? Don’t you look down from your big castle and sneer at anyone who has the audacity to hope for change because it’s just politics?”

Gus squinted. “Audacity to hope? You stole that from Obama.”

Having exhausted her tiny supply of patience, he was only slightly startled when Livia shrieked in his face, bringing her fists up to beat against his chest. “You asshole! You sit at the same table as the most evil scum to walk the planet and all you’ve ever done is ask them to pass the wine. How dare you! Every day that you turn your head and pretend to be above it all, people suffer and die! And you don’t even care!”

Trembling, Gus reached out and rested his hands on her shoulders, forcing their eyes to meet at the same level. “You’re right, I don’t care. You think the only evil in the world is the devil we know? Those poor, suffering people? They gladly turn on each other every chance they get. They use every excuse in the book to justify their blind hatred! Are they really worth a life of endless fucking vitriol?”

Liv shook him off, putting the space of the kitchen between them. “See, this is why I can’t even with you. Your insistence on being so purposefully obtuse is honestly? Disgusting.”

“Hey!”

“And worse still, sometimes you’re not even doing it because you think you’re funny. Sometimes you really are just a privileged asshole who doesn’t understand anything that isn’t in a bottle or a skirt!”

The silence that followed was excruciating. Gus wondered when exactly he had sent out invitations for his comedy roast. Surely the walls of his apartment would fall away and reveal a laughing audience of his peers any second now. 

Any...second...now...

“I’m leaving.”

Frantic to keep that from happening, he decided a new approach was needed. “So what? That’s it? You drunk dial me, stumble in to fuck up my entire life, then just leave?”

Livia’s laughter was a bellow through his empty apartment. “Wow! I’m aware you’ve always been one for melodrama, Gus, but fucked up your entire life? Please! Do you even have a life to fuck up? What do you even do these days, Augustus?”

Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. But he wasn’t about to tell her that!

“Am I really so worthless to you?” he asked, his voice cracking in the most loathsome way. Truthfully her callous dismissal had him on the verge of tears. She had been cruel to him before, twice as cutting as he could ever hope to be, but this felt different. This felt like finality.

“Liv—“

“You’re not,” she snapped. When he looked up, her eyes were a storm. “You’re not worthless...to me. But goddamn it, Gus, where is this even coming from? So I texted you while I was drunk and made you drive to Brooklyn. As if you haven’t hitchhiked to fucking Connecticut just because I drunk dialed you crying about my sorority sisters. So what’s different this time, huh? Is it because I didn’t fuck you? You didn’t get what you came for, did you?”

The color had long drained from his face, but now Gus felt like the floor was quaking beneath him. 

“You can’t,” he begged her brokenly. “You can’t really think that.”

It took far longer than he liked, but eventually he was able to watch as the tension slowly left Livia’s body, leaving her limp and swaying.

“This is sick,” she said to her heeled feet. “Every time I’m in the same room as you, I feel sick.”

“Is that why you switched country clubs?” he quipped.

“Yes.”

Rapid backfire. He could only chuckle at his own stupidity. Being very careful not to look at her, Gus stepped around Livia and walked to the entryway. 

“I almost forgot,” he managed to get out through a thick throat. “You threw your purse at me when I tried to give it to you in the car so I just hung it here.” He plucked the stylish little bag off the coat rack and held it out to her. “Got your phone, yeah?”

“Gus...” She took her purse, trying to make him look her in the eye. Of course he was choosing to be difficult. “This is definitely not how I thought my bachelorette party would end,” she said with a weak laugh. “But, um, I’m still—I mean, it was still good to see you.”

“Yeah,” Gus croaked out. He turned and reached for the knob. “Make sure you call, uh, Louise or Lucy or whoever that frightening blonde one was.”

She didn’t laugh this time. “Yeah. I will.”

When the door clicked shut behind her, Gus went back to the kitchen. Luckily he hadn’t put the rum away yet.


End file.
